my love/hate relationship with fake tan

I am lucky to be blessed with the kind of skin that tans with the slightest of exposures to the sun. It means that for the summer months (weather permitting), I have a nice glow which I desperately try and cling onto as the darkness of autumn and winter set in. 

I also happen to be blessed with living in England, which isn't exactly known for its good weather. I spend most of my time at the moment studying in Oxford, which seems to be in a perpetual winter until it decides to flip completely the other way around June. Even when the sun does come out, my strenuous schedule of procrastinating in the library isn't exactly conducive to a nice tan. 

I think I've managed to suss out what works for me on the fake tan front, but it hasn't been an easy ride...

I recall my first experience with fake tan with a kind of traumatic PTSD which makes me cringe whenever I think about it. It was the morning of our Leavers ceremony in Year 13, and having locked myself in the library for the previous few months for my A-Levels, it suddenly and horrifyingly dawned upon me that I would be standing up in front of the entire school and their families looking not dissimilar to a marshmallow. To make matters worse, I had chosen a white denim co-ord to wear for the occasion, which I quickly realised would set off my pallid skin in quite an unpleasant way. Fuck. I have never moved so fast as I did that day to my nearest Boots. The girl who had avoided every P.E. lesson since the age of 12, claiming her period rendered her absolutely incapacitated each and every lesson, was now sprinting for gold (that gold being a natural, 'I've just got back from a weekend away in France' kind of gold). 

The overwhelming sensation I remember, having reached the fake tan aisle, was panic. Where the hell do you start? What's the difference between a gel and a mousse? Criminally, in my haste I hadn't done my homework - I grabbed the nearest and cheapest bottle and headed home. I can't remember what brand it was, or what colour; all I knew was I had to get it all over my body, and as quickly as possible. 

Pushing the first pump of mousse out onto my bare hand (RIP me - had no clue mitts were a thing), I was greeted with a horrifying crack. The pump had broken, and all it was offering me were pathetic dribbles of dark brown liquid. BUT momma didn't raise no quitter so I powered on, frantically trying to rub the slightly watery liquid onto my pale body before it dried.  

Having covered myself with a thin but convincing layer of the stuff, I put my white co-ord on and congratulated myself on not looking too terrible. At this stage it's probably worth noting that I hadn't read the instructions on the back of the container which highlighted the importance of washing the product off before 'wearing it out', so to speak. 

And so I headed out to the marquee where the prize-giving was taking place, blissfully unaware of the inevitable outcome of the situation. White clothing, unwashed fake tan - you can probably guess what happened next. As the marquee heated up (our headmistress made sure to comment on how this was the hottest day of the year so far), and much to my horror and my brother's amusement, I began to feel and see orange droplets trickle down my body. Needless to say the inside of my co-ord is now stained orange with my shame. 

smiling and orange on the outside, crying and orange on the inside 

I'm sure everyone has a similar story to mine, hopefully not as messy; it definitely takes time to figure out what works for your skin and, crucially, what doesn't. I was definitely put off using it until uni, when I met my fantastic friends who taught me how to tan responsibly. These are the rules: 

**FAKE TANNINNG FOR DUMMIES**

- Shop around for the right fake tan product for you - it's going to take some trial and error, particularly if you've got paler skin, but it's worth reading some reviews online. I've been using L'Oréal's Sublime Bronze Overnight Elixir which has worked wonders for me. I have yellow based, olive-y skin, and I normally leave this on for around 5-6 hours (it says overnight, but you can put it on during the day as well!) for a nice healthy and natural looking glow. Doesn't break the bank and works a treat. 

- Invest in a good mitt - I really swear by a good mitt, having tried cheap ones before and they've resulted in the product balling up on my skin and eventually leaving my tan really patchy (anyone else?). Don't go for anything too crazy; I think mine was about a fiver and it works great.

- For the love of God exfoliate and moisturise BEFORE applying the product. I cannot emphasise enough how this affects the longevity and quality of your tan! My current faves for this are Soap and Glory's Smoothie Star Breakfast Scrub (actually has to specify on the tub not to eat it because it smells so good BUT CRUCIALLY leaves your skin feeling like you've been born again) and any old moisturiser you've got knocking about - I'm still using my trusty Nivea Soft Moisturising Creme. Just make sure its really rich to avoid a patchy tan.

- TAKE TIME TO WASH IT OFF - I think I've proved my point when it comes to the perils of not washing off your fake tan in this post. Pat rather than rub to dry in order to lock in the colour. 

- For tan longevity, keep moisturising! I find if I consciously try and moisturise every evening, the colour definitely lasts for longer and you feel bebe soft and super cute. 


And that's my tanning journey! I'd love to hear yours. What are your favourite fake tan products? Let me know in the comments below.