lets talk about: social anxiety

This isn't a particularly easy thing for me to write about on a public platform; however, when I posted a picture on my Instagram about my anxiety flaring up during a party, the response was overwhelming and surprising. I received messages of solidarity from a variety of people who all told me that I was not alone in my feelings of anxiousness as a result of social interaction.  

I never really thought of myself as someone who suffered with social anxiety, particularly before uni. After a series of instances when I've felt incredibly uncomfortable in social situations in the last year or so, I began to research what anxiety is. What became apparent was that I do suffer from it, and that it is more common than you might think.

In social situations, being surrounded by loud, or even just outgoing, personalities causes my anxiety to increase massively - I'm constantly unwilling to participate in this kind of social encounter unless I've had a couple drinks beforehand and during. It has often got to the stage where I have had to remove myself from these kind of social situations before having an anxiety attack, purely because I have felt an inexplicable sense of displacement and discomfort.

I sometimes feel uncomfortable even with my friends from school, the feeling of a changing friendship in the wake of adulthood incredibly unsettling. This is a strange, incomprehensible feeling which I wish I didn't feel, but uncontrollably flares up whenever I am with them.

I have become more inclined to think that being at University has had a massive impact in the way my anxiety affects me. More than any place I have spent time in, uni is where the most pressure is placed on social interaction - validation is created when you feel socially fulfilled. Though this is clearly an unhealthy and extremely pressurised expectation for students to have, it is unavoidable given the seeming importance of meeting new people and making significant friendships. There is a constant pressure for students to maintain a successful and flourishing social life (crucially documented on social media) alongside an even greater one to succeed academically. Because of this, I think I'm acutely aware of myself in social situations and whether I feel like I'm succeeding. University is also a space that can sometimes feel insular, within which you can often feel judged before you have even met someone, based purely on what they have heard or what they have seen of you on social media.

Indeed, I am convinced that social media has a massive part to play in why my anxiety has increased over the last year. Anxiety is become more and more common amongst students, and this is partly down to the way in which we encounter other people's social lives on the internet. Though 'FOMO' may be used to jokingly describe this condition of feeling left out, constantly being made aware of who does and doesn't choose to interact with us can cause a downward spiral into anxiety for some.

I wanted to speak candidly about social anxiety, because the more I speak to people about it, the more I realise that it is more common than I previously thought. Understanding yourself and your instinctive reactions to interacting with other people is not something that is necessarily clear, or easy - however, becoming aware of what might trigger your responses and figuring out ways of interaction that work for you are of paramount importance as you navigate uni and your life afterwards. Invariably some people cannot live without being around people, some need their space - it's crucial that we try to understand and respect each other's individual desire for interaction.